literally every morning and every afternoon i say this (or possibly yell) in my car. i've gotten cut off more times on the highway, had to swerve because someone was drifting in my lane, gotten behind people going 55 in the fast line (OK, OK, it's the speed limit, but everyone knows that the left-most lane is for people who are going faster, i'll admit, i shouldn't speed, but if you guys want to criticize me there talk to my father..or laura. haha).
LITERALLY EVERYDAY.
everyday i also think about how the road i take to and from school, I-70, will take me all the way to DC (well, frederick, but same difference really). i promise. i've driven it!
i miss DC, so far STL is not my favorite city, i'm not gonna lie. i think part of it is cause all i ever do is work (or do classes as is the case currently) and it is such a HUGE change from college. waking up at 6 am everyday sucks. going to bed every night at 9pm is depressing. being too tired to do anything on weekends is boring.
i think that i would have these same issues if i was in DC, the adjustment from college to working life is going to be hard for anybody. i guess my biggest thing is that when i do things in DC i know what to expect, i'm still discovering STL, which seems like more work than i'm willing to do right now.
anyways, sorry for the slightly pessimistic blog post.... TFA has warned us that october is called "black october" because basically now is the time when all new teachers are starting to see that
1. they haven't accomplished very much (which is understandable, but unacceptable, which is hard to deal with)
2. the "honeymoon period" is over and the kids, while they may like you (as is the case with me) still will be crazy
3. all of the above kicks in, before it was kind of exciting, now you're just tired
4. it's getting darker.
ok
i promise, i will work on the pessimism, but i really do hate missouri drivers!!!
mom got a speeding ticket once too! it's not just me!!
ReplyDeletealso, i really hope you can get out of this funk. i am definitely in one too, but i just want you to know that i am so proud to tell people that you are doing tfa and i am sure you are a great teacher.
lots of love.
Saw Mr. Perretti the other night. He's proud of you and what you are doing. I think he said being selected for TFA is tougher than getting into Stanford or Harvard or one of those places. That should make you feel good for a second or two!
ReplyDeletehaha it is true, there were 45,000 applicants (i'll write this out so you don't think i had a typo: forty five thousand) and only 4,600 got chosen (four thousand six hundred)
ReplyDeleteand thank you laura!!!!
Hang in there girly! Getting to know new people, a new city, AND a new job all at once would not come easily to anyone. And I agree that the adjustment from college to work life can be kind of depressing! Just know that you are doing your best every day and ultimately, making a positive impact on these kid's lives :)
ReplyDeleteDC might be (and probably is) cooler than STL, but DC drivers suck too.
ReplyDelete